The Richard Cranium Award

The Richard Cranium Award is a prestigious award saved for the few drivers out there eager to get to work at all costs. The select few who believe it is their right to stand on the shoulders of others and it's the duty of others to hold them up. Those who spit into the wind and expect it to hit someone else in the face. Yes, these are SPECIAL people, yet for all their rush they have a sensitive side. A mere 10 second delay can bring a tear to their eye and a flush to their complexion. It is not everyday one runs into a nominee for such a prestigious award in Mesa Arizona fair readers. It takes a really special person to get this award.

The person I am nominating today fair readers is a person who pulled up behind me while I was waiting behind a long line of cars in a construction zone. They were driving a white SUV and hung on to my tail at 22 mph through the zone when the speed limit was 25. The car ahead of me was three car lengths ahead and halfway through the zone this sensitive, and uncommonly special person layed on their horn for a good while. Realizing I was in the presence of a nominee for the Richard Cranium award I put out my hand in a friendly wave! It was such an honor to help them complete this great achievement. I can hardly contain my joy fair readers. To think I was the person who helped such a person as this Richard nominee (Although, this elite group are affectionately called 'Dicks' by those who know them, not to be confused with one of the greatest of them, 'Tricky Dick' a former president of these United States) to shine and show their colors. That is a satisfaction most sweet. Yes, driver of the white SUV, I am pleased to award you the Richard Cranium award for September the fifteenth in the two thousand and ninth year of our Lord or Common Era as your faith or lack of may prefer. Go forth in your brazen confidence and superiority, blessing those you know with your presence. Stand solidly on the shoulders of those you subjicate and curse the authority that dares to equalize you with your fellow man. Yes, you alone indeed are SPECIAL today. Glory in it. We salute you!