You know it's tough when you start "one more mile" ing yourself 5 miles into a ride. I wanted to go back and take the motorcycle out into the back country but I couldn't go back and take the motorcycle out because the chain needed adjusting. So I continued on. I figured I'd at least make it to the Superstitions. Of course once I got to the Superstitions I had to go to Canyon Lake and by the time I got there it would be dumb not just to go to the turn around above Tortilla flat.
It was a beautiful morning with temps in the 60's but it didn't take them long to get into the 70's. There was a good wind coming down the hills into my face but I had the false hope it might be a tailwind on the way back. Still, hope although misplaced is still hope and any kind of hope when your depressed is good.
I didn't see a whole lot of cyclist's out until I got to the lake and then I started running into groups of them coming back. This was probably the last Saturday to enjoy this ride without suffering in the heat on the way out. The lake was beautiful, but it always is.
The hill heading up to the turnaround was a little therepeutic. We climb hills to get stronger. Suffering makes us stronger. It is upleasant but often necessary if we want to make any kind of progress. Some hills seem endless such as Mt. Ord, End of the World, Mt. Lemon, Mt. Nebo, but we eventually reach the top and feel better for it in the end.
At the turn around I made a note of the information control and turned around. 3/4 of the way down the hill I almost ran over a gila monster sunning on the road. I stopped to go back and get him off the road before he got squished. He had a leg missing and it looked like a bird or something might have picked a fight with him. He hissed at my bike tire as I nudged him off the road. Just after I took a picture another cyclist climbing the hill came over to check it out. We both left hoping he would have enought sense to stay on the safe side of the fog line.
All the headwinds of the early morning were now headwinds of the late morning. I hunkered down and cursed the wind and pressed on. At the last turn I stopped at sonic to eat a recovery meal. I still had an hour left to do the last mile or so. The ride didn't help my depression much. But I did accomplish something. I got 100k in and I helped my body maintain it's fitness so when this depression does end, I'll be in shape to do the things I want to do when I want to do them again.